Terminal B
The bird is singing to find another bird. It's been calling into a space full of thousands of people who have made themselves carefully unavailable. The question is whether we've left any room in ourselves to call back.
I write essays about the things I can't stop noticing. A bird trapped in an airport terminal. The hour before everyone else wakes up. What it costs to stay soft in a world that rewards armor, and what we owe each other when the systems we live inside are built to keep us small. The work lives in a few different rooms here. Some pieces are flagship essays I've been turning over for months. Others are field notes, letters to no one in particular, or short dispatches from the ordinary. Subscribe above and new writing will land in your inbox when it's ready. I'd rather show up well than show up often.
The bird is singing to find another bird. It's been calling into a space full of thousands of people who have made themselves carefully unavailable. The question is whether we've left any room in ourselves to call back.
People were asleep. The night was ordinary until it wasn't. The distance between dreaming and wading through your own hallway calling your child's name was measured in minutes.
The deer was born here too. Not in some distant wilderness. Here, beneath our windows, in the shade we created when we planted the dogwood. Not here, we say. But here is exactly where it is.
The silence that's coming won't be peaceful. It'll just be empty. We're paying for it in installments, monthly, by the yard, on a schedule, because nobody told us to ask what we were actually buying.
I'm not trying to escape the system. I'm trying to remember, often enough to matter, that I'm in one. That the wanting to check isn't always my wanting. Each time I remember, it counts.
Twenty years. Seven houses. He still wants me there even when I'm not helpful. He held my hand when we walked in. Same as always.